Humor · Uncategorized

Prayer for a Basset Hound

Oh, Dog, protect our home.

God and nature  has endowed thee with ears to hear and a nose to smell, to discern right from wrong, and sniff out evil intent.

Thy jaws shall rend and tear the meat from the bones of them that force and break into our home.

Thy teeth shall crush the very bones of our foes. Thou  shall savor the marrow and lick up the life blood of any who seek to harm us. The calves, thighs and groin shall be thy lawful prey. Thou shall shake them as a rag doll and tear them asunder  as a manglebunny. Their scrotum shall shrink with fear before thy fangs. Thy teeth shall gleam in the night as thou huntest thy prey.

Thou shall arise from slumber when danger approaches. Upon stubby legs thou shall stand against all who oppose us. Thy neck shall shake the life from thieves and burglars alike.

Now sleep peacefully, my noble hound.

Know that thou art chosen and prepared to protect and guard, that thou mayest be renowned as The Great Hound, for it is not size nor stature that matters, but spirit and heart.

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